Struggles of a Working Mom

Hello, dolls!! Hello, SPRING! <3 I am so excited for warmer weather!! Mainly because I can’t fit in my pants anymore — I only wear pants when it’s necessary and during winter lol.  The good thing about being pregnant during the majority of the colder seasons is the fact that I do not have to buy any maternity clothes. I can get away with wearing my sweaters without feeling like a giant sausage 😛

I am aware that I sound a little dejected lately whenever I talk about my job. The exhaustion that I feel on top of my pregnancy has not been easy for me, and it’s causing me to be negative about certain things. I really need to shake it off, but I guess it won’t be until I let myself understand that it’s okay to step back.

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Leaving this boy every morning is never going to be easy!

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I guess I am just fortunate that little A and I do not have “crazy episodes” of him crying whenever I leave the house for work. He was only less than 3 months old when I went back to work and it was harder for me because I would miss him a lot, how can I not? I was at work for 12-14 hours every day! When he was 8 months old, I found a job that has a better schedule — weekends off, 10 hours a day, drawback? I have to leave home at 4AM. Since then, he is used to Mommy not being around in the morning — which I hate because I would love to eat breakfast with him on the regular! But we can’t have it all..

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BALANCING YOUR PRIORITIES

I left my previous job because I wanted a normal schedule. I would leave the house as soon as he wakes up and be back just in time for me to put him to bed, no in-betweens. I did that for 5 months and felt so depleted. I had no time to do anything other than be a Mom and a career woman.

Now that I have a slightly normal schedule, I am able to do beyond taking care of little A at home. It’s really satisfying to know that for the past 2 years, I am able to do the things I used to love before I started my Culinary career 8 years ago. Little things like getting my hair/nails done, devoting a day for shopping, getting our house in order (little by little every day), and even get to blog again regularly! I had to scale back on my work hours to accommodate the lifestyle I need for my family and MYSELF.

When Mommy loves your outfit but it’s too small for you 😛

 

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WORK vs BABY

I am the kind of employee who is afraid to call out. I called out 4 times in the past 7 years, and it was never because I was “just” sick. I called out when my Grandfather passed away and couldn’t get myself together. When we got stuck in Florida for almost 10 hours and got back to Baltimore 3 hours before I was supposed to come into work (which by the is 5AM!). The other two times were pregnancy related and I knew I had to choose my body and the wellbeing of my baby.

So whenever something last minute comes up and I know the right thing to do is stay home and be with little A, I feel guilty for not doing so. I am fortunate that my Mom is able to help us when A and I are at work but she can’t be with little A 100% of the time since she has a life too. I had to bring little A with me to work countless times for the past 2.5 years and it made me feel very guilty every time I have to drag him to my “kitchen life”.

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THE DOLLAR SIGN

I am fortunate that my career was able to put me in a stable financial situation for the past 5 years (not counting the year when I was an intern and spent my paychecks on clothes and unnecessary things I couldn’t bring back to Manila lol). Anyway, when A and I got married, we both had financial independence which I love! One is not dragging the other and when we both need to provide for “us” we can. We both had zero debts coming into this marriage which was amazing because we were able to save money for all of our big “goals” like a house before having a baby and vacations. I do not want to go into a lot of details right now about how we make this work, but we do and I feel like financial independence is something I would love to talk about in another post 🙂

If there’s anything I am worried about going on an extended maternity break, that is the fact that I have to rely on A for financial things. For the longest time, we were fixated on bringing in a certain amount of money every week, so seeing a significant amount diminish for a while is quite nerve-wracking for me. Although my husband has been really assuring and supportive about his new role as a sole provider for a while, I guess the career woman in me just can’t fathom the idea. So tip for me and every other independent career woman? SAVE! Save while you are working so you do not feel like your “wants” are dependent on another person 😛

Anyway, thanks to blogging and my extracurriculars because I know I will still be able to bring in some moolah while I am on break!

P.S. The US has the poorest policy when it comes to maternity leave. Unlike Canada and other countries who pay Moms a great stipend while they are off work or gives them security when they take off work, here in America employers can choose not to pay anything or only give you a certain amount for a number of weeks. 

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I think one of the biggest things for me too is feeling apprehensive about this “new normal” that I am going into. I am so used to being responsible for something “big” other than my family and myself. So knowing that I somehow can practice what I am good at makes me feel a little less valuable. Okay, can someone wake me up now because this career woman in me is really taking over my sanity obviously lol.

Buuuuut, it’s all for a GREAT reason! To spend more time at home and be with my kids!!! I am going to be a full-time Mom to 2 loving kids and I know none of the worries I listed above can amount to the love I will be getting in the coming months <3

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Before I end this post, let me tell you about an upcoming giveaway I am hosting in partnership with Maryland Families for Safe Birth —  an organization founded by Mom and families in Maryland who are dedicated to providing information and access to birth options and other labor-related issues.

So if you know any Mommies in the DMV area, please let them know about this event! There are so many things to look forward to and I hope to see one of you guys there! <3

I will be posting my giveaway by the first week of April so watch out!!! One lucky Mommy is going to be very happy <3

xx

R <3

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15 thoughts on “Struggles of a Working Mom

  1. Being a working mom is definitely tough! There is constant guilt when we have to choose between work and our children. For the last 3 years I have been able to volunteer at my oldest’s school for their jog-a-thon but this year I found out there is a big all-day meeting scheduled at work that I can’t miss. My son was very sad but I told him I would try to volunteer at another event instead.

    1. Yes!! Exhaustion is nothing compared to Mom guilt. I feel like no matter what, it will always be a challenge to find that balance. Thank you for your comment <3

  2. I wish the US would step up there game on maternity leave and atake a lesson for the other countries who treat mothers so well when their child is a new born. A new baby is alreayd so stressful, it would be so nice to not have to worry about our jobs or money.

  3. I’m sure you will be just fine. Us mamas are always quick to adapt. Here in Canada our maternity policy leaves are amazing. It’s a shame that the US has yet to do the same.

  4. Being a working mom is really hard! You have to plan everything out ahead of time. From the time you wake up to the time your baby goes to bed it’s non-stop! I had to work with my second son and it was so hard. Every morning I would try not to cry because I missed my boys and I didn’t see them before I went to work because I had to be there by 5. After my twins I couldn’t afford daycare so I have to stay home which I’m so lucky to be able to. It’s definitely not an easy job and really hard as well. They both have their pros and cons. But being a working mom is no joke!

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience! Hearing from other working Moms gives me strength and more inspiration. I can’t wait to stay home with my kids during my maternity break and hopefully recharge before I go back to work 🙂

  5. I can totally relate to the working mom dilemma. When you’re working a full time job and taking care of the kids it leaves no time for anything else. Then things start to pile up, and you have no idea when you’re going to get to them. On top of that you have no time to do anything else whether that’s reading a book, exercising, organizing the house, or getting out for a little time to yourself. The idea of the working mom doing it all is an impossible standard. Asking for help from others is SO important as well as not getting down on yourself for not being able to do it all.

    1. AMEN TO EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAID! 🙂 I wish I could just print a million copies of this so I can properly explain to everyone how challenging it is to be a working Mom. Thank you so much.

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